As this journalist steps of the plane he is instantly greeted by a UN soldier and given a personal bodyguard. As the first journalist to step into Agrabah since the Royal Wedding I should of expected as much. So, is Agrabah a real threat? And why was the elusive President Aladdin offering me an exclusive interview of a lifetime? For now though, I was tumbled into the back of an armoured escort vehicle to be taken to the palace.
President Aladdin grew up an orphan in the slums of Agrabah, however, his fortune changed when one day, he met the Princess Jasmine who took an instant liking to the orphan. When Aladdin was used as a pawn in the Royal Vizier's bid to take over Agrabah with the help of a genie, he turned on the Vizier and imprisoned him in a lamp, befriending the genie and marrying the princess on the way. It was the happy ending everyone wanted, but what happened after, no one saw coming.
As my vehicle approached the palace, The great golden gates opened before me, This was as far as the transport was permitted to take me, as I departed the vehicle and headed to the palace I was greeted by none other than Razoul, Advisor of President Aladdin and head of the feared Agrabah Royal Guard.
After the royal ceremony Aladdin and Jasmine went into recluse for 2 years, in that time The Sultan was announced dead, and President Aladdin the new leader of Agrabah.
A few years later rumours of Agrabah's nuclear capabilities surfaced, When President Aladdin refused UN scientists to inspect Agrabah, suspicions were raised. Within 4 years Agrabah was at war with the rest of the world. But President Aladdin, still remains in recluse, he is untouchable due to The Genie.
Razoul greeted me with open arms and led me to a great hall, he told me I was right on time and The President was due any second. As I was offered refreshments I remained curious why President Aladdin decided to let a Western Journalist be the first to interview him in 7 years, but I had to prepare myself any moment now I'd be face to face with the worlds biggest threat.
When a set of grand doors opened a figure in a wheelchair was wheeled in by a nurse, surely, this couldn't be the feared leader.
3 years ago President Aladdin's beloved pet monkey Abu died of mysterious causes, after further examination the monkey's levels were high with Radiation poisoning.
"It turns out, my beloved lamp, has high levels of radiation, my journalist friend, so you'll have to forgive my state. I believe, before I die, people should know the truth behind my actions."
The President, although younger than 30 looked in his sixties, the man who was a picture of health was now wheelchair bound. His soft voice barely echoed of the endless Marble in the palace.
Eventually I pressed The President on the case of the Sultan.
"It was all a misunderstanding, some could say because that night I am who I am now, Me and Jasmine were arguing about the wedding pictures. I'd had a few to drink and although I'm not proud of it, I struck her, Raj, her pet tiger upon seeing this jumped on me. I had no choice but to kill it, when I slayed the Tiger, The Sultan, upon seeing all the blood fainted. unfortunately he fainted on a dagger I received as a wedding gift from the Prince of Persia. Being the new Heir I was announced Sultan, The title didn't stick so I decided on President"
Although this story is far fetched, I could see pain in The Presidents eyes, Was this all a ruse for some sympathy before he died?
When asked for an explanation on the suspected Nuclear capabilities and the invasion of Pride Rock and Never land The President sighed.
"Pride Rock was yet another misunderstaning, I wanted to get Jasmine a new pet, So I decided a Lion Cub, I sent a small task force in to secure one but the Lions turned and The Task force killed them in self defence, as far as I'm concerned that's the truth. As for Never Land, I was concerned over the children living there, When my task force went to investigate, they were attacked and shot back in retaliation, yet another misunderstanding"
I then asked the President about his current state of health, The President then began to cough violently and Razoul told me he needed a new Drip and to be patient. wheeled The President out, 2 hours of waiting later, I was asked to leave the Palace.
The visit to the palace confused me, Is President Aladdin near death? Where was Princess Jasmine? Was the Genie still alive after rumours of President Aladdin having him killed after coming out? Why did The President no longer wish to talk to me?
Another time, Another day.
Monday, 13 October 2008
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Snow White
After our wildly successful first look into the lives beyond the fame of cartoon characters, we decided to do a follow up into another part of that first story. Namely, Snow White.
As everyone knows, Snow White ran from her wicked step-mother, the witch, and lived with 7 apparently friendly chaps known as the Dwarves. But not everyone knows what happened to her once the Price came along and took her away to live with him. This is her story.
“At first, it was great. He was all sweetness and light, caring, thoughtful and oh, so romantic. As soon as we got married though, that swiftly changed. He sacked all of the servants in his castle, making me do all the housework, as well as the cooking, cleaning and everything. I know that doesn’t sound too drastic in the modern realm where single mothers do it all the time, but in a 200 roomed castle, miles from anywhere, and with the only company you have being the seemingly endless stream of kids, and a horrible man, it all starts to pile up a little bit.”
At first, our researchers weren’t entirely sure if Snow White was being accurate with her facts. She has become more and more renowned for exaggerating, embellishing or flat out lying about things. Maybe it’s a cry for help, perhaps its God’s honest truth. At this juncture, we couldn’t be too sure. So we pressed on.
“Did the dwarves come to visit me? Sure, at the beginning. Sometimes Doc would pop in, or Dopey. But when things turned sour between them all, the visits became fewer and fewer between. This was a little disheartening. But, I accepted it because Bashful used to send me these beautiful hand written letters, on coloured, scented paper detailing everything that everybody did. I was utterly heartbroken when I heard about Happy. He wasn’t anybody’s favourite dwarf, but he was most definitely in their top 7. But going back to the visits, aside from the dwarves coming at first, I believe the God’s conspired against me to prevent me from seeing anyone. Between the Prince’s complete lack of social skills, and the Witch preventing my family from seeing me, I began to get very lonely. All I really wanted was people to come to see me, to talk to me. I ran ads in the local papers in the nearby villages, but still no-one came. Word had gotten around that I was not to be trusted, and that if I took a disliking to a person whilst in my home, I’d imprison them for a hundred years or more. It took 14 years and 8 months exactly from the day I heard that to the day I discovered that the Prince had told everyone this. I think that was what was most heartbreaking of all.”
The deeper we go into this sad, sad story, the more we hear of a woman being let down by those she loved. Be it through internal fighting by the dwarves, the Witch preventing her family from coming to see her, or the Prince spreading vicious rumours in the neighbouring villages, Snow White has consistently had her hopes of friendship dashed over and over again. Sadly, this led to mental issues for the young lady.
“In the end, I developed something called Stockholm Syndrome, where the captive falls in love with his or her captor. Obviously, I loved the Prince from the beginning, but when I saw almost nothing but him, and our 17 beautiful children, my love for him was absolute. He could do no wrong. When I started to feel unwell, I asked to be taken to a doctor, who asked me about my home life (he’d apparently heard the rumours and didn’t believe them to be true) and then referred me to a psychologist. It was only there, away from the castle, in the comfort of the doctor’s office, that I realised what was happening to me. How I was being abused in a thousand different and tiny ways. There came a time when I decided enough was enough, and I had to leave. So I gathered up the kids and went back to my home. The only home where I’d felt truly safe and wanted in years. I went to the dwarves hut in the woods. And I waited. I waited for hours. Hours which turned to days, then weeks, then months and finally, after more than a year of waiting, and looking after the house for them, there was a rattle of keys. A jingle in the lock and the door burst open. In came Sneezy. Looking a little worse for the wear, but above all, he was ok. And the first friendly face I’d seen properly in years. To say he was shocked to see me is an understatement. The poor fellow nearly had a heart attack there and then, but when I sat him down, explained what happened and introduced him to the herd, he understood. He told me he was the sole proprietor of the hut now, and he only came along when he remembered to just to make sure the roof hadn’t fallen in. He handed me the keys to the door, and told me to look after the place. It was mine. None of the other 6 dwarves ever came up here, too many bad memories, and Sneezy was no different. He only came up for the roof, and even then he did so begrudgingly. He left soon after, claiming that he needed to get back, and that I’d be safe here. And so far, he hasn’t been wrong. It was a crying shame what happened to him though.”
I think it’s fair to say, that after the initial tragedy of Snow White’s early life, and her subsequent time spent at the Prince’s castle, she has done very well for herself. A brood of beautiful children, a lovely home, fresh food at her very whim, and we understand, a new man on the horizon. One with references which check out.
We at Where Are They Now? wish her all the very best in her future endeavours.
Monday, 6 October 2008
Where Are They Now?
Snow White and the 7 Dwarves
Everyone knows the story of Snow White and the 7 Dwarves, but who among us knows what happened to the characters after the glitz, glamour and fame wore off?
This series of articles goes into detail about the lives and, in one unfortunate case, death of the characters after their moment in the sun.
We begin after the film ends. Snow White has gone off to live with the Prince, and so we take up the story with the individual dwarves. Sadly, our story is one of deep rooted hatred, jealousy and betrayal.
Doc
As the leader of the troupe, Doc was often assumed to be the oldest. In researching this piece, I spoke to Doc, and he told me this:
“I never wanted to be leader. We mined for precious stones, and I think I accidentally stumbled into being the head of our group by virtue of being the guy who’d been at the face for the longest. I always got along with the others, and I think some of them even looked up to me in a way. We were like a family, and the filming only helped bond us together stronger as a unit. Sadly, as the boys grew older, we all began to grow apart, and then there was all that unfortunate business with one of our number which led to all sorts of nasty accusations in my direction.”
This tells me that Doc wasn’t a natural leader. He was just someone who fell into authority, more through unofficial rank than through any elections. When we caught up with Dopey, he told us:
“Oh sure, Doc came across all nicey-nicey in the film. When it came to the day to day running of the mine, and the house, he was like a dictator. In the 6 years I worked for him in his organization, I don’t remember ever actually seeing him being nice to anyone. He only went into the mine on the day of shooting for the cameras. He decided early on that he wasn’t actually going to swing an axe at the face. And the pay? What pay? Ask any of the others involved in the film and they’ll tell you we never saw a bean from that movie. Doc saw it being that HE signed the papers, so HE took the money. And God help any of us if we had a stone on us at the end of filming. That’s why the ‘accident’ happened.”
Two very different and conflicting views on Doc. If we are to take the personal view of Doc from the dwarf himself, he was a kind, helpful, fair and just man. However, if we are to take the view of Dopey, Doc was a ferocious person to work under. Lazy, and only there to crack the whip when the stones weren’t being turned out fast enough. There are also the allegations that Doc took a shine to the younger members of the group, which led to his being on trial. As the trial is still ongoing, and into its 18th year (with no sign of resolve) and sadly, due to the nature of the allegations, nothing can be put into print at this time.
Grumpy
Grumpy, as his name suggests, was renowned for being grumpy. Although he himself says that this is often a miss-conception which, thanks to clever editing, was all he became known for:
“I never started out grumpy. Not at all. At the beginning of the filming schedule, the director was constantly berating me for smiling and joking too much on-set. He demanded that I be in character as much as possible, and went out of his way to irritate me. I can’t help but feel that this detracted from my performance in what was, sadly, my only role in a major Hollywood film. I’ve often rued the day that I signed on for the film in that character. It simply doesn’t portray to the real me. Painted me in a bad light. Before the release, I loved kids. As a dwarf, I had the Christmas season in my pocket. After the release, I became a bit of a social outcast. I was unemployable in the shopping centres. No-one would touch me for fear of me scaring away all the little kiddies and their parents’ money.”
Grumpy always had designs of being an actor. Even as a young man. Since the first flashing images of a Charlie Chaplin film flickered into his eyes, his dreams were set deep. Possibly too deep. His failings as the actor he dreamed of being led to prolonged periods of mental health issues, which ultimately led to his being sectioned under the Mental Health Act for 14 years.
“I was put in the home about a year after the end of our press tour. The fame, and the adoration, even on my small scale, quickly ran out. Soon, I found myself looking more and more to the bottom of a bottle, and eventually I got in with the wrong crowd. For the 3 months prior to my committal, I was spending more of my royalty cheques than I could cash. I was taking cocaine, heroin, acid, amphetamines and all sorts of other things. I ended up owing a lot of money to the wrong people, and things went awry. So, eventually, my co-stars took care of me. Generously paid off my debts and put me away. It’s probably the best thing they ever did for me, and I cannot thank them enough. I just wish that Doc hadn’t added interest to his generosity. 14 years is a lot of compound.”
Sadly, since our talk, Grumpy has suffered from a regression, and was advised to go back into care for a short-term.
Happy
Happy genuinely was happy. By all accounts, he was rarely seen without a smile on his face, a kind word for someone, and a large greasy sandwich in one hand. This was to be his downfall.
He was a young man when he began work for Doc at his mine, but sadly, this didn’t help him to lose weight. According to many, he was too big to fit down the shafts. The very fact he was too big led to several angry confrontations with Doc. But his skin was saved on more than one occasion by his presence in the film. Dopey explains:
“Happy? Happy couldn’t swing an axe if he knew which end of the handle had the pick on it. He couldn’t fit down the mines, and the pit ponies ran away if he got too close. Usually because he was salivating. But to be honest, he was a really nice guy, but because of his size, he got all the shit of the show from Doc. He only ever didn’t kill him because of the publicity rights he sold for the film. Happy had a load of advertising contracts with fast food outlets after the release. The greedy swine had a clause built into all his deals that he got free food from the outlet. I firmly believe that this directly led to his downfall. Especially since he was found face down in a basket of fries surrounded by empty fried chicken boxes, from a nameless company. The clues were all there. He was big, the food was free, and if I think about it we probably didn’t help him at all by encouraging him to carry on eating.”
Sadly, Happy died at a young age. He was only 27, just 10 months short of his 28th birthday. At his funeral, the coffin had to be specially crafted for his remains. Rumours are rife that to keep costs down, they found an old piano box from Steinway, but those are unconfirmed, and unnecessarily cruel. At the funeral, the other 6 stars offered to carry his coffin, but due to his size Health and Safety officials refused to allow it, and instead made the commission of the crane payable to the Disney Corporation.
Happy; 1913 – 1940. God rest his soul.
Sleepy
Well known for his near constant dozing, Sleepy was actually afflicted with a condition known as Narcolepsy. Approximately 1 in every 2,000 people suffer from this, so Sleepy was by no means alone. Often discredited as being lazy, depressed or even epileptic, it took years of doctors studying Sleepy before it was truly discovered what was wrong with him.
“Doc could not have been more wrong. He was constantly shouting at me, belittling me, and putting me down for being lazy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep my eyes open all the time, and more often than not, I’d slip just as my axe would strike the mine face. That was a particular nightmare. Constant fear hanging over my head that one day I may not wake up.”
Since then, Sleepy has spent much of his time helping medical research into the field of sleep pattern studies, and sends vast amounts of his royalties to sleep charities and other study projects.
“It was the least I could do; after all, I think these people saved my bacon with their efforts.”
Bashful
Bashful is the most mysterious of all the dwarves. Little is known of him, even during his time as one of Doc’s employees. Doc had this to say:
“Bashful? Now there’s a curious little fellow. He utterly hated having focus upon him. His shyness was so bad to the point of him being completely unable to enter the shafts first, or leave last. He barely spoke a word to anyone or anything, and would often venture out into the forest for hours at a time. I think when Snow White left us, he was hurt the most. He had a monumental crush on the beautiful princess that I feared for him when the Prince showed up to take her away; it was heartbreaking to watch his descent even further within himself.”
When we tried to locate Bashful, we could only do so through his royalty payments and some intensive sleuthing, but we were informed that Bashful stopped receiving visitors over 15 years ago. The researchers chose to respect his wishes as a recluse, and we will be forwarding a copy of this article to his house.
Sneezy
Somewhat bizarrely, Sneezy suffered from Anosmia, an affliction which means that the sufferer has no olfactory senses. In other words, he cannot smell. For someone who made his name with dealing of his nose, it’s a fairly horrifying thing to have happen. He explains:
“When I was growing up, I could smell. Which at times was a good thing, and at others, not so good. But when I went down the mines for Doc, the dust got up my nose and shook something loose, because after 2 or 3 days, my sense of smell was gone, never to return again. I put this across when there was a discussion in Doc’s office about which of us should play which part, but Doc decreed that I’d be the guy who sneezes, and thus it was so. He was completely insensitive to my plight and told me to go out there and sneeze. He even used to put pepper in my pillow at night, all over my dinner, and in my clothes. It was torturous. Its a wonder that no-one tried to “off” him sooner than someone finally tried.”
After years and years of mocking in ways those only small children can, Sneezy finally snapped. He punched a small child in the mouth and went on a crime spree which escalated to the point where several people lost their lives. Here are a few words on the subject, told to us, by Sneezy, from his cell:
“It all got out of hand. I don’t know what it was that set me off, and there is nothing I can do about it now. I could never be any sorrier than I already am, those people didn’t deserve to die, nor did I want anyone to. I just flipped. I hit the kid, stole his parents’ car and drove off. I drove over the border. And when I crossed, I parked up, got out and said hello to the border guards. Then I stole his gun and shot him. That makes me sound callous, but I promise you, there was nothing cold or calculated about it. It just happened before I could stop myself. By the time I realised what was happening, the guard was dead, and I was back in the car and driving again. Something just switched and I was out of control. I headed to the nearest town, to hand myself in, but as I got there, some people recognised me, so I ran them down with the car. I got 12 counts of death by my hands at my trial. Every single one of them full of remorse, I can promise you that. I’ve been in here for nearly 40 years now, and I deserve a million more. Nothing can change what I’ve done, but I’d sure as hell like to. Maybe I wouldn’t punch that kid in the face. Who knows?”
At this point, Sneezy asked us to leave, and has since stopped his correspondence with us.
Dopey
Dopey is the main feature of Doc’s case. Something we aren’t at liberty to discuss in detail here, for fear of trial by media. Sadly, not all of Dopey’s interview was not allowed to be featured in this piece, with the exception of a few small pieces we’ve already submitted for approval. Here is a small excerpt we have been allowed:
“It all started the day I began working for Doc. He was all friendly towards us all, which later transpired to be an act because the film execs were around, watching us to see if we were suitable. I was a little shy at first, not as shy as Bashful, so I didn’t talk a great deal. Because of this, Doc immediately assumed me to be simple; this is why he dubbed me Dopey. Unlike the others, Dopey is a name given to me by Doc, not my real name. My given name is Peter, but Doc didn’t think it was suitable or in keeping with the others, and so I was given a derogatory nickname to help the flow of the name calling, which did not impress me, or my folks back home when they found out. They wanted to march down to the studio and put Doc in his place, until I persuaded them not to. Doc would have gotten the slapping of his life otherwise.”
It looks, from the testimony, which not all was as it seemed in the film. There was very little happiness, and there was deep resentment of Doc’s methods of management. Obviously, every company has its ups and downs, and getting the film was a very big up, but it would appear that this was only papering the cracks of a much deeper rooted problem. An issue we may have to re-visit if Doc’s trial ever comes to completion.
Look out for other articles in a similar vein in the future.
Garry Swan
Everyone knows the story of Snow White and the 7 Dwarves, but who among us knows what happened to the characters after the glitz, glamour and fame wore off?
This series of articles goes into detail about the lives and, in one unfortunate case, death of the characters after their moment in the sun.
We begin after the film ends. Snow White has gone off to live with the Prince, and so we take up the story with the individual dwarves. Sadly, our story is one of deep rooted hatred, jealousy and betrayal.
Doc
As the leader of the troupe, Doc was often assumed to be the oldest. In researching this piece, I spoke to Doc, and he told me this:
“I never wanted to be leader. We mined for precious stones, and I think I accidentally stumbled into being the head of our group by virtue of being the guy who’d been at the face for the longest. I always got along with the others, and I think some of them even looked up to me in a way. We were like a family, and the filming only helped bond us together stronger as a unit. Sadly, as the boys grew older, we all began to grow apart, and then there was all that unfortunate business with one of our number which led to all sorts of nasty accusations in my direction.”
This tells me that Doc wasn’t a natural leader. He was just someone who fell into authority, more through unofficial rank than through any elections. When we caught up with Dopey, he told us:
“Oh sure, Doc came across all nicey-nicey in the film. When it came to the day to day running of the mine, and the house, he was like a dictator. In the 6 years I worked for him in his organization, I don’t remember ever actually seeing him being nice to anyone. He only went into the mine on the day of shooting for the cameras. He decided early on that he wasn’t actually going to swing an axe at the face. And the pay? What pay? Ask any of the others involved in the film and they’ll tell you we never saw a bean from that movie. Doc saw it being that HE signed the papers, so HE took the money. And God help any of us if we had a stone on us at the end of filming. That’s why the ‘accident’ happened.”
Two very different and conflicting views on Doc. If we are to take the personal view of Doc from the dwarf himself, he was a kind, helpful, fair and just man. However, if we are to take the view of Dopey, Doc was a ferocious person to work under. Lazy, and only there to crack the whip when the stones weren’t being turned out fast enough. There are also the allegations that Doc took a shine to the younger members of the group, which led to his being on trial. As the trial is still ongoing, and into its 18th year (with no sign of resolve) and sadly, due to the nature of the allegations, nothing can be put into print at this time.
Grumpy
Grumpy, as his name suggests, was renowned for being grumpy. Although he himself says that this is often a miss-conception which, thanks to clever editing, was all he became known for:
“I never started out grumpy. Not at all. At the beginning of the filming schedule, the director was constantly berating me for smiling and joking too much on-set. He demanded that I be in character as much as possible, and went out of his way to irritate me. I can’t help but feel that this detracted from my performance in what was, sadly, my only role in a major Hollywood film. I’ve often rued the day that I signed on for the film in that character. It simply doesn’t portray to the real me. Painted me in a bad light. Before the release, I loved kids. As a dwarf, I had the Christmas season in my pocket. After the release, I became a bit of a social outcast. I was unemployable in the shopping centres. No-one would touch me for fear of me scaring away all the little kiddies and their parents’ money.”
Grumpy always had designs of being an actor. Even as a young man. Since the first flashing images of a Charlie Chaplin film flickered into his eyes, his dreams were set deep. Possibly too deep. His failings as the actor he dreamed of being led to prolonged periods of mental health issues, which ultimately led to his being sectioned under the Mental Health Act for 14 years.
“I was put in the home about a year after the end of our press tour. The fame, and the adoration, even on my small scale, quickly ran out. Soon, I found myself looking more and more to the bottom of a bottle, and eventually I got in with the wrong crowd. For the 3 months prior to my committal, I was spending more of my royalty cheques than I could cash. I was taking cocaine, heroin, acid, amphetamines and all sorts of other things. I ended up owing a lot of money to the wrong people, and things went awry. So, eventually, my co-stars took care of me. Generously paid off my debts and put me away. It’s probably the best thing they ever did for me, and I cannot thank them enough. I just wish that Doc hadn’t added interest to his generosity. 14 years is a lot of compound.”
Sadly, since our talk, Grumpy has suffered from a regression, and was advised to go back into care for a short-term.
Happy
Happy genuinely was happy. By all accounts, he was rarely seen without a smile on his face, a kind word for someone, and a large greasy sandwich in one hand. This was to be his downfall.
He was a young man when he began work for Doc at his mine, but sadly, this didn’t help him to lose weight. According to many, he was too big to fit down the shafts. The very fact he was too big led to several angry confrontations with Doc. But his skin was saved on more than one occasion by his presence in the film. Dopey explains:
“Happy? Happy couldn’t swing an axe if he knew which end of the handle had the pick on it. He couldn’t fit down the mines, and the pit ponies ran away if he got too close. Usually because he was salivating. But to be honest, he was a really nice guy, but because of his size, he got all the shit of the show from Doc. He only ever didn’t kill him because of the publicity rights he sold for the film. Happy had a load of advertising contracts with fast food outlets after the release. The greedy swine had a clause built into all his deals that he got free food from the outlet. I firmly believe that this directly led to his downfall. Especially since he was found face down in a basket of fries surrounded by empty fried chicken boxes, from a nameless company. The clues were all there. He was big, the food was free, and if I think about it we probably didn’t help him at all by encouraging him to carry on eating.”
Sadly, Happy died at a young age. He was only 27, just 10 months short of his 28th birthday. At his funeral, the coffin had to be specially crafted for his remains. Rumours are rife that to keep costs down, they found an old piano box from Steinway, but those are unconfirmed, and unnecessarily cruel. At the funeral, the other 6 stars offered to carry his coffin, but due to his size Health and Safety officials refused to allow it, and instead made the commission of the crane payable to the Disney Corporation.
Happy; 1913 – 1940. God rest his soul.
Sleepy
Well known for his near constant dozing, Sleepy was actually afflicted with a condition known as Narcolepsy. Approximately 1 in every 2,000 people suffer from this, so Sleepy was by no means alone. Often discredited as being lazy, depressed or even epileptic, it took years of doctors studying Sleepy before it was truly discovered what was wrong with him.
“Doc could not have been more wrong. He was constantly shouting at me, belittling me, and putting me down for being lazy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep my eyes open all the time, and more often than not, I’d slip just as my axe would strike the mine face. That was a particular nightmare. Constant fear hanging over my head that one day I may not wake up.”
Since then, Sleepy has spent much of his time helping medical research into the field of sleep pattern studies, and sends vast amounts of his royalties to sleep charities and other study projects.
“It was the least I could do; after all, I think these people saved my bacon with their efforts.”
Bashful
Bashful is the most mysterious of all the dwarves. Little is known of him, even during his time as one of Doc’s employees. Doc had this to say:
“Bashful? Now there’s a curious little fellow. He utterly hated having focus upon him. His shyness was so bad to the point of him being completely unable to enter the shafts first, or leave last. He barely spoke a word to anyone or anything, and would often venture out into the forest for hours at a time. I think when Snow White left us, he was hurt the most. He had a monumental crush on the beautiful princess that I feared for him when the Prince showed up to take her away; it was heartbreaking to watch his descent even further within himself.”
When we tried to locate Bashful, we could only do so through his royalty payments and some intensive sleuthing, but we were informed that Bashful stopped receiving visitors over 15 years ago. The researchers chose to respect his wishes as a recluse, and we will be forwarding a copy of this article to his house.
Sneezy
Somewhat bizarrely, Sneezy suffered from Anosmia, an affliction which means that the sufferer has no olfactory senses. In other words, he cannot smell. For someone who made his name with dealing of his nose, it’s a fairly horrifying thing to have happen. He explains:
“When I was growing up, I could smell. Which at times was a good thing, and at others, not so good. But when I went down the mines for Doc, the dust got up my nose and shook something loose, because after 2 or 3 days, my sense of smell was gone, never to return again. I put this across when there was a discussion in Doc’s office about which of us should play which part, but Doc decreed that I’d be the guy who sneezes, and thus it was so. He was completely insensitive to my plight and told me to go out there and sneeze. He even used to put pepper in my pillow at night, all over my dinner, and in my clothes. It was torturous. Its a wonder that no-one tried to “off” him sooner than someone finally tried.”
After years and years of mocking in ways those only small children can, Sneezy finally snapped. He punched a small child in the mouth and went on a crime spree which escalated to the point where several people lost their lives. Here are a few words on the subject, told to us, by Sneezy, from his cell:
“It all got out of hand. I don’t know what it was that set me off, and there is nothing I can do about it now. I could never be any sorrier than I already am, those people didn’t deserve to die, nor did I want anyone to. I just flipped. I hit the kid, stole his parents’ car and drove off. I drove over the border. And when I crossed, I parked up, got out and said hello to the border guards. Then I stole his gun and shot him. That makes me sound callous, but I promise you, there was nothing cold or calculated about it. It just happened before I could stop myself. By the time I realised what was happening, the guard was dead, and I was back in the car and driving again. Something just switched and I was out of control. I headed to the nearest town, to hand myself in, but as I got there, some people recognised me, so I ran them down with the car. I got 12 counts of death by my hands at my trial. Every single one of them full of remorse, I can promise you that. I’ve been in here for nearly 40 years now, and I deserve a million more. Nothing can change what I’ve done, but I’d sure as hell like to. Maybe I wouldn’t punch that kid in the face. Who knows?”
At this point, Sneezy asked us to leave, and has since stopped his correspondence with us.
Dopey
Dopey is the main feature of Doc’s case. Something we aren’t at liberty to discuss in detail here, for fear of trial by media. Sadly, not all of Dopey’s interview was not allowed to be featured in this piece, with the exception of a few small pieces we’ve already submitted for approval. Here is a small excerpt we have been allowed:
“It all started the day I began working for Doc. He was all friendly towards us all, which later transpired to be an act because the film execs were around, watching us to see if we were suitable. I was a little shy at first, not as shy as Bashful, so I didn’t talk a great deal. Because of this, Doc immediately assumed me to be simple; this is why he dubbed me Dopey. Unlike the others, Dopey is a name given to me by Doc, not my real name. My given name is Peter, but Doc didn’t think it was suitable or in keeping with the others, and so I was given a derogatory nickname to help the flow of the name calling, which did not impress me, or my folks back home when they found out. They wanted to march down to the studio and put Doc in his place, until I persuaded them not to. Doc would have gotten the slapping of his life otherwise.”
It looks, from the testimony, which not all was as it seemed in the film. There was very little happiness, and there was deep resentment of Doc’s methods of management. Obviously, every company has its ups and downs, and getting the film was a very big up, but it would appear that this was only papering the cracks of a much deeper rooted problem. An issue we may have to re-visit if Doc’s trial ever comes to completion.
Look out for other articles in a similar vein in the future.
Garry Swan
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